The Years I Shared

"The world changes as we get older, what comes in love must leave in pain"

'The Years We Shared' - Runrig

So The Story has been released, 9 years of waiting has brought us Runrig's final studio album.

And there's perhaps nothing I can do to express my flood of emotions, the ache in my heart, the longing in my very soul, the sadness fills me, I am happy but knowing that this is the end breaks my heart, it's probably the hardest thing to talk about, when something, which must come across as so mundane to many, which means so much to my life is ending, I've said before it's like I'm losing a member of the family.

I know that bands come and go like the passing tides, the never ending cycle of the music industry, but I don't think that many people have bands that mean so much to them as Runrig means to me and my family.

I've talked about this before but I still can't fully truly get across how much this little band from Scotland means to me and my family, every album is a landmark, a milestone, a journey from beginnings to the now, singing in the car, getting the lyrics wrong, listening to them in our darkest times and playing them loud in our brightest.

I've been listening to Runrig for 25 years, I'm 30 this year, so pretty much all my life I've had this band to turn to, from lone late night sessions to singing along to them loudly without a care in this world, crying quietly alone listening to Big Sky, crying in joy singing Every River with my boyfriend.

For every song which has become stained with sadness for me, there's always one which lifts me up, and across 14 albums each one has become a flood of memories on a plastic disc, from early years listening to 'Cutter And The Clan', 'Heartland', 'Searchlight' and 'The Big Wheel' to later years wrought with change 'The Stamping Ground', 'In Search Of Angels' and 'Everything You See'.

The Story has come at a very pivotal point in my own life, after many years in Germany I'm trying to forge a new life and make something of it, but it's been hard going and for every happy bit of joy I get, I seem to get another bit of stress coming to test me once again.

I got the chance to listen to this album a day before it's release on some really expensive equipment in a studio in west London, there wasn't many of us there but it was a closed little group of us just sat there in this room, the format was supposed to be that they'd announce each track as it went on but after the first track, they just let it play, no interruptions, the whole album from start to finish.

I'm sat on a white plastic chair,with a friend who also likes Runrig but not for as long, holding a glass of white wine in my hand, turning my phone to silent, I close my eyes and listen.

The room around me faded away, I become lost within the music, listening to every note, every word, each one taking me to different places, different times, different emotions.

'The Years We Shared' starts playing and I feel a tear running down my cheek, I snatch my hand up to wipe it away, in my shock I nearly spilled my wine, I'm sat there, trying not to let my emotions get to me, not out in public, but in my head it's continuing, I sit and listen to the music.

As 'Somewhere' slowly fades off, I hear a familiar conversation in the radio static, it was from the Shuttle Colombia, days before the tragedy, the day they used Running To The Light to wake the crew, Laurel Clark was on the ship, she was a big Runrig fan and took their cd's up to space in hope to give them back to the band.

After the tragedy struck and the debris was scattered over Texas, in a field they discovered a intact Runrig CD, the very same one which Laurel Clark took up with her on that fated mission, the band got presented the CD back by her husband, so her wish was fulfilled.

To our small group I recited this story since I recognized the audio, I think I moved a few people with it, once again I realized that this little Scottish band has so much meaning and purpose to some people, a trait oft cited to just myself and my family, it made me realize that this band, meant something.

For me it's memories, good and bad, happy and sad, weddings and funerals.

I'll never forget about Runrig, it's part of who I am today, the songs and music flow within my blood, and keep me going, no matter what.

They might be just this little band which nobody knows about, that makes it all the more special.

So as this story comes to an end, it'll be repeated for years to come.