Uncertainty and the Year

If only I had a actual Tardis.

Over the past few months, in fact the majority of this current year, I've been having some inner turmoil within my own life, I've been in Germany now almost 5 1/2 years, it's been a comfortable and interesting few years, but I've had this unsettling urge to move on.

On admittance of a wish to move on, it feels like people are giving me the '20 Questions', to pick apart and analyze just why I want to move on, I also hear the same things time and time again, a number of people wish for me to stay, a number of people agree that I should move on.

Right now, as I write this, I've got a very small handful of plans, nothings set in stone, nothing is certain, but the main reasons why that I want to move on is that I feel really detached from my family, this wasn't a issue for a long time but this year really pushed the fact that I miss my family, my friends too, not to say I don't have some friends here, but the bulk of my friends are all back in the UK and it's straining to only see them once perhaps twice in a year.

Another reason is that I do not feel that me staying here is going to improve anything, I've found my notch and I'm settled in, progressing is almost pointless at this time, staying isn't going to be any good because if I move now or in 6 years I'll be facing the exact same issues.

Here's a couple things that I've had repeatedly said to me.

• "The UK is (Crap/Rubbish/S***)" - Yeah I could say that the UK isn't the best country in the world, but then again where is?, I noted a odd coincidence that nearly everyone who said this to me are the ones who have settled permanent lives here in Germany, so naturally they're going to sway to the side of the UK being rubbish, personally I see more advantages to moving back to the UK than staying here in Germany.

• "There's no jobs in the UK" / "0 Hour Contracts" / "Less Than Minimum Wage" - Again honestly I think this is based on people personal opinions and what they define as a job, every time I go back to the UK there always seems to be -somewhere- hiring, I think it's a case of you need to look in many places, I got told that there are some places paying 'less than minimum wage' to which I will call some bullcrap on unless I can find some more concrete things about it, the minimum wage is just that, the minimum wage, surely if you get paid LESS than that, it's illegal. 'Zero Hour' contracts I know are a 'thing' to which you are signed to no set hours but you may get varying hours during a working week, but what hours you do are still paid by the minimum wage. So the UK is a myriad of problems job wise yes, but there are jobs somewhere and no matter what, you'll always get the minimum wage, no matter what.

• "Why don't you stay until the closedown" / "Move to somewhere that is closing down" - Because I'd rather not stay the 6 to potentially 8 years of uncertainty and "X place is closing in Y months" because again there is no certainty to it all and why should I move to X place when that 'Y' timescale could turn into 'Z' at no notice, no thank you.

So right now I am unsure of what my next move will be, I've got a lot to think about, it's a lot of logistical things too, I came here with a backpack and a suitcase, over 5 years I've got stuff, yeah it's going to take some planning and whatever decision I make, I'm sure it'll be the best one.

Time for our semi-not-regular music show thing, here's 'Weird Al' Yankovic with 'First World Problems'